Trouble in paradise

Word on the street (by street I mean Good Day Live and an anonymous source) is that Mary Kate isn't at an anorexic treatment center, but rather at a rehab facility to treat her COKE ADDICTION! Shocking, scandalous...true? I don't know, but I like the idea that it could be. Doing coke is a great way to shed those unwanted pounds...Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a whole lot of blow. Ha ha, I made myself laugh with my little sayings. They're not even funny now that I reread them. Nevertheless, I hope for a speedy recovery for there is no "Olsen Twins" with just one. Maybe this was all part of their master plan to separate from each other...there's the good one (Ashley) and the crack whore (Mary Kate). That was mean, I apologize MK. Last night I finally told houseguest what I thought of her...this all came to pass when I realized she had eaten every one of my granola bars. 10 of them. This may seem petty, but it was the last straw...I first paced outside while quickly inhaling a cigarette and talking to my roomie on the phone (who, being so sick of houseguest, had refused to come home). I marched inside not so subtly showing my anger my whisking the beads leading to our hallway with avid determination...then went to my room and semi-slammed my door (it was actually the result of my window being open and the wind pushing it shut, but was appropriate for the situation). After a moment, I hear the tiniest "must proceed with caution" knock...houseguest is wondering if I'm mad at her. So then the shit hit the fan and I listed off every way in which she has pissed us off. I ended with the affirmation "you are never welcome to stay with us ever again." ***I left off a lot that happened in the middle, but don't feel like rehashing the entire event. These are just the broad strokes*** Continuing...So as of Wednesday, no more houseguest. My life can go back to normal (or at least to how it was before). Victory has never tasted so sweet.
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